I really need help to stop self harm. i stopped for a while but recently i started again because my boyfriend tried to rape me 3 times and a couple of months ago he comitted suicide by shooting himself. Now its getting worse than ever. im started to carve words in my arms which i never used to do. people like family and some friends assume im ok and sometimes i just want to shout im not ok. i dont know where to turn. is there anyone out there who has stopped self harming after a long time if so please tell me how you did. i know i need to stop soon because if i dont things could get worse and i could die. i've already tried to kill myself before and it really hurt some of my friends and I cant do that to them again.

If there is anyone who has been through self harm, please help me. thanks x x

I am 14 and I have had a really though year this year I used to cut and burn myself and even OD. My mom was/and still is pretty clueless. But most of my friends knew. I knew I was hurting them and myself. Just what really got me was that I was hurting them. So now I have decided to try and stop all of these harmful things. So what I am starting to do now is listen to music really loudly, or go for a really long walk. Just do whatever you think is fun and that you enjoy (not including hurting yourself). Good luck. email if you have any questions or concerns- Email this person

First off, you do not need to 'turn to Jesus' unless YOU feel that will help. The first thing you need to do is tell someone that is right there in your everyday life so that they can help, or help you get help. Self harm is a lot like alcoholism, it is an addiction. The pain send endorphans to your brain that can act like a drug. You may want to look into local support groups that focus on this or similar types of addictions.

Cutting is actually not an uncommon phenomon, though it can become dangerous.

Many people cut for two reasons 1. it is easier to deal or focus on emotional pain than physical pain. 2. when someone cuts, it actually releases a chemical in the brain called endorphines which are a "feel good" hormone.

First of all I believe you should tell your parents and seek therapy. A lot of time with cutters, it is very helpful just to have someone to talk to about ANYTHING.

If you feel that you cannot do so, here are some other things which will help.
1. when you feel the urge to cut, press ice on the area where you usually cut.
2. Get some "fake blood" at a store and place it where you cut.
3. draw on yourself with red pen when you cut.
4. Call you best friend when you feel like cutting
5. go get excersise (excersise releases endorphines as well) 6. The write above stated popping a rubberband on the wrist is helpful, this is true but I have seen Clients who have used this technique and actually harmed themself brusing and bleeding from the force of the rubberband so be careful.

Best of luck to you Sweetheart.

#1. You need to find someone to talk to. Someone that isnt family and wont judge you. Like a therapist. You might not need to be need medication. Just someone you can trust and talk to.

#2. It sounds like you are doing this for attechin. And I know that is hurtful to hear. But when you are doing it out of pain and hurt and greef, you do it where no one will know. You do this where people can see, because your crying out for help. Thats not the way to do it. Just ask.

( I harmed myself when I was younger. I would have terrible panic attacks. To were I would just break down, and try to excape. I would leave the house and go somewhere I wouldnt be bothered, and I would be so scared I would be crying and sobbing and retching. And I would bend down cause I was hyperventalating. And try to breathe, and I would black out. Whenever I would settle and know what had happened I would have deep scratches, self inflicted, the skin and tissue was under my nails. But I guess I reacted to the pain, and the pain stopped me from panicing over whatever I was flipping about.)

It is VERY hard to stop. Some people need help. Some people need love. Some people just need someone who wont take it, and makes you change.

My husband stopped me. I had one of these spells when we were dating. Because I got so upset because we were fighting and I didnt know how to deal with the severity of the fight and the thought of losing him. And I started having a panic attack. And ran outside, of cource he fallowed. And I screamed at him to get away. I knew I was scaring him but I had lost control and I was scaring myself. I was hyperventalating. And he thought I was fixing to pass out and started to grab me and I jumped away and took off running, until he wasnt in site. I remember stopping down the wooded road somewhere trying to get my breath. Thats all I remember. I came too looking around wondering how I got sat up aginst this tree. And remembered the details. I thought how stupid we were being and I needed to go back and act like a adult and fix this. When I got in the house, he had a fit, he said " What have you done you have blood all over you!" Honestally, had I known that, I would have been to embarressed to let him see me, I would have snuck to my car and left. But there was no way around it. I had scratched my arm from my wrist to above my elbo with 4 fingers, so deep it scared. He sat me down that day and told me he wouldnt deal with it. He wanted to know everything about it, and if I didnt love him enough to let him help that it was over. So I showed him my scars. I had some on the top of my legs and some on my stomach. From when I was younger, dealing with many family deaths within a couple years. He told me if I ever did it again he would leave me. But he would help. So for a long time when I would do this panicing he would stop fussing and calm me enough to where I was rational. He would remind me not to do it. And I kept my nails cut to the quick and filed.
Out of respect for him I stopped. I ripped holes in alot of pockets of jeans. When I flipped I would put my hands in my pockets till it was over.

YOU have to find out your own way to fix it. No one can tell you how. And you have to find out what starts it to fix it.

talk to me i have nevercut but i will be your support Email this person try 1800 dont cut or 1800 suicide.

Right, you need to find an alternative to self harm before you end up doing serious damage. see my question on alternatives:

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkMvCzvrmx0uRsu1I5HnqhghBgx.?qid=20070521093333AAM2Roj

or email me for more ideas.

To try and stop, set yourself a number of days to go without cutting,then when you reach this goal treat yourself (no cutting!) to give yourself encouragement. then set an even longer goal. keep doing this until eventually you stop.

I seriously suggest you speak to a doctor or councellor - you have had a lot of serious things going on around you. you will need help to get over the attempted rape and suicide, and then help to get over the self harm and suicidal feelings. please get professional help.

Feel free to email me if you just wanna talk to someone about how you feel, as this can really help.
Good luck.
Stay strong, stay safe.

Hi if your looking for past experiences and help with stopping this site is good http://www.recoveryourlife.com/

Have you told anyone about your boyfriend attempting to rape you as it might be good to talk about it and get through it all in your mind as for the self harm all i can Say is use the above site it has forums and lots of people with experience but like may people say its all about getting different methods of coping and before self harming stopping and thinking about what it will be like after wards and about the screaming out your not fine then do it please there is nothing wrong with admitting you are not fine you are not happy so don't put on a front talk to a parent a friend anyone you trust and get it all out i hope this helped and i know suicide seems like such a simple fix but most times as you mist already know it fails and just hurts you and people around you

Good luck