Latest Self Help Forum Topics:

  • what is the best self help book? (14 posts)
  • Best self-help books? (7 posts)
  • Self-Help? (4 posts)
  • Self Injury treatment/help groups or places in Utah??? (6 posts)
  • Help Self harm? (9 posts)
  • i feel that i have poor self control what do i do PLEASE HELP!!!? (3 posts)
  • self-help ???????? (3 posts)
  • How can we help young girls with self esteem? (12 posts)
  • Self employment help please? (2 posts)
  • Can you recommend a self-help book to help build my self esteem? (9 posts)
  • help me gain self confidence? (10 posts)
  • Self-Harm help? (9 posts)
  • Self Harming? I Need, Serious Urgent Help. Please? (11 posts)
  • self harm??HELP? (7 posts)
  • My self confidence and guys.. Please just take a look and see if you could help? (6 posts)
  •  
    Author Message

    GiddyUp

    Members


    Online status

    8 posts

    Location: Kazakhstan
    Occupation: Gynecologist
    Age:

    #1219   2007-11-24 12:02 GMT      
    Y'elo,
    I'm 16 year old male,and need some help please. The problem is I'm really insecure and self conscious. I always think that people are perceiving me as a weak person who acts like a girl. People reassure me that i don't but i sometimes feel like that. I have very few friends to talk to, therefore i would like anyone who has been or is in my position to help, and tell me about their experiences. I am very depressed and low because of this. I know i might sound stupid but thats the biggest problem i am having. Hence, i feel no one wants to be my friend. Can someone help me and tell me what i am supposed to do. Have you ever been insecure. Please, any males who can answer. Is it due to adolescence, self identity or something? Please help...Why do I think like this?Will it ever end?I feel very depressed to talk to other people just in case they think i act like a girl or something, as in the past I was like that, but i have change. Please tell me what is wrong and what I can do.

    Goldfish

    Members


    Online status

    9 posts

    Location: Tonga
    Occupation: Flutist
    Age:

    #1220   2007-11-24 12:07 GMT      
    It will pass. It sounds like you may be searching for a true friend who has the same interests. You are okay to have those feelings. Try to do things that make you and you alone the happiest. Think positive thoughts and keep smiling. It draws positive people into your energy.

    SkateRForeveR

    Members


    Online status

    6 posts

    Location: Senegal
    Occupation: Genealogist
    Age:

    #1221   2007-11-24 12:07 GMT      
    all you have to do is dont listen to anyone . listen to your heart and know that who you are is nothing you can change . god made every one a great person in side of you .you are great how you are remember its not about the outside its about the inside

    DownUnder

    Members


    Online status

    8 posts

    Location: American Samoa
    Occupation: Test pilot
    Age:

    #1222   2007-11-24 12:08 GMT      
    For a 2nd i thought i had wrote that it sounds like me, age and everything

    however i felt like you only yesterday but today i fell great so i guess it changes

    yesterday attempted suicide today the 2 minute mile

    DarkTrinket

    Members


    Online status

    6 posts

    Location: Kazakhstan
    Occupation: Operator
    Age:

    #1223   2007-11-24 12:10 GMT      
    well i m not a guy but i feel i can help u. i think ur hormones have something to do w it but that DOESNT mean it's true about urself. when people have chemicals in their brain that r not perfectly balanced, ur brain really "lies to u". for real. like for people w depression as myself, u think really negative thoughts, and many many times they r LIES.
    so just calm down, relax, and make urself busy. i m sure there r hobbies u might like. so just give them a try.
    u just have a common teen problem. and of course u r a REAL MAN. just relax. dont listen to any ideas that go against what u believe in.

    Cupcake

    Members


    Online status

    8 posts

    Location: Mauritania
    Occupation: Entertainer
    Age:

    #1224   2007-11-24 12:10 GMT      
    you are feeling the questions about yourself that many your age do - I did, and turned to reading as a means of dealing with that at your age. As you grow older a lot of your feelings will change but I will give you a web site that may help you as well. Good luck to you and don't worry, it does get better!!

    SplitDog

    Members


    Online status

    10 posts

    Location: Guinea
    Occupation: Civil servant
    Age:

    #1225   2007-11-24 12:11 GMT      
    Hey there,

    I'm a girl, but I'll answer you anyway. High school and adolescence can be a very tough time. I used to be paranoid and insecure -all- the time. If I heard laughter behind me, I thought that those people were laughing at me. The problem isn't in that people -are- laughing at you, or that they think you're girlish, it's that you perceive people as perceiving you as weak, when maybe they aren't even thinking about that. Self-confidence is something you have to develop...alone. I used to be afraid that people thought I was acting a lot like a boy, so it's not just a guy's problem. (Personally now that I'm older, I don't see the problem in being masculine or feminine, but that's something you'll experience later.) Right now, just summon up the courage to maybe even just smile at somebody in the hallway. From there, you can develop your confidence up to where you'll be talking to complete strangers with ease. So to answer your question, it's due to both self-identity and adolescence, but you're not alone. You can be manly and also have feelings at the same time - don't let anybody tell you that you can't.

    Good luck with building up your self-confidence! Remember; start from a smile.

    Splishsplash

    Members


    Online status

    8 posts

    Location: Finland
    Occupation: Chemical Technologist
    Age:

    #1226   2007-11-24 12:13 GMT      
    I don't know how much this will help, but when I was your age (I think everyone has some insecurities at that age...it really is a very tough time) I thought everyone didn't like me because I was too fat, and I didn't feel any self worth. I was depressed as well, and I even tried to commit suicide due to depression. I think that you should get some help, because it really does get better even though I am sure that you cannot see how it will (I didn't either...but I am so greateful to be here now) The important thing to remember is that people aren't judging you as harshly as you think that you are. You are much harder on yourself than other people are. That being said, if some butthead is giving you a hard time...try to bear in mind that there is always going to be some looser that behaves like a knuckle dragging neanderthal. It is something that everyone has had to deal with, myself included, and I, thankfully, am here to tell about it. You can get through this. Just get some help (like a councilor or your parents if you can talk to them...personally I would hope that my children would come to me with any problem.) and carry on. Teenage years don't last forever, and eventually you will figure out how you fit into this crazy world. Good luck, God bless.

    FullOfHeart

    Members


    Online status

    6 posts

    Location: Guam
    Occupation: Négociant
    Age:

    #1227   2007-11-24 12:15 GMT      
    Well your depressed because you think people think you act like a girl?
    I am 28 and was pretty shy in highschool myself. People always tell you to express you emotions because its healthy but by saying that what they mean is tell only your very close and personal friends and family your problems. I know you said that you dont have many friends but if someone you didnt really know starts tellnig you all about their problems you would get kinda bored of that person (at least most people would). Some people are very social and have several "friends" forget about them. Having a couple good friends you consider family are all you need. and if you dont have a couple friends like that then you need to find more ways of meeting people, clubs, teams etc. Everyone goes through a time in their life when they feel as though theyre alone and its theyre fault. For me it was part of my high school career(thats why i'm writign this) Your problems will pass theres no question about that. It may seems impossible right now but i can bet you any amount of money that this is true. If you feel like you have to spill your guts all the time maybe you should go to a therapist. Not that theres anything wrong but its there job to listen. Ok fingers are sore.
    Good luck

    HahaNoob

    Members


    Online status

    10 posts

    Location: Chad
    Occupation: Art therapist
    Age:

    #1228   2007-11-24 12:15 GMT      
    Teens are just mostly cruel, popularity seeking people. You just need to hang on until you are out of high school because things will change. I am a female, but years ago when I was in high school, other teens used to spread rumors about me being lesbian because I loved sports, and I am talking about gymnastics, swimming, diving, and softball. But thank God it all ended with high school.

    Cow

    Members


    Online status

    7 posts

    Location: Mexico
    Occupation: Mortgage broker
    Age:

    #1229   2007-11-24 12:18 GMT      
    hi,
    yes you are young, and feelings you have today, will be completely different in the future. always remember that you are the most important person in your life. go out and find something that keeps your mind occupied, and makes you feel good about what your doing. this can be anything. i'm from hawaii and love to surf, but now i'm in san antonio. land locked, and i could just give up and dye of boredom, but i go out and try to be active. i longboard skateboard and hike and look for interesting things to think about. this always puts me in a great place. now i know you are not me, but you could give these ideas a shot.
    > 1 <
    Categories: Make Life Long Friends Overcoming Fear Relaxation Overcoming Shyness Vision Board Self Defense Tips Get Organized Gratitude Memory Changing your Life Positively Life Saving Strategies Personal Development Sleep And How To Rest Better The Power of Positive Thinking Speed Reading Improve Yourself Dating & Relationships Ten Ways to Change Your Life Learn Chinese Hypnosis Feng Shui Anger Self Improvement Subliminal Tapes Business Self Starters Coaching Programs Today Popular Marketplace Items Self Improvement with Yoga Brain Juicer Brainstorming Breaking Bad Habits Self-Help Success Tips Shared Road To Success Self-Defense For Women Tatoos Law Of Attraction Positive Self Talk Personal Development Time Management Tips Eliminating Stress & Anxiety Manage Time Create More Time Procrastination Self Improvement Therapy Self Development Losing Weight Overcoming Fear Of Spiders Law Of Attraction Getting A Life Time Management Stress Management Self Confidence Self Improvement Self Esteem Positive Thinking Motivation Life Coach Leadership Development Happiness Goal Setting Emotional Intelligence Creativity Communication Skills Anger Management Public Speaking